Sex is so weird like hey I love you let me stick my hard extra limb into your tiny hole and then slam it into you repeatedly because I love you
(Source: ourtwistedfuckingstory)
Tracks
carry-on-my-consulting-tardis:
“What house?”
“Montague!”
“whAT HOUSE?”
“MONTAGUE”
“WHAT HOUSE?????”
“MONTAGUE!!”
“MONTAGUES! GETCHA HEAD IN THE GAME!”
The fact that someone else thinks he looks like Zac Efron makes me so happy.
*sends ugly snapchats to hot boys and regrets it 3 seconds later*
if i run for office ill have to delete this blog youre all sworn to secrecy
at my future wedding and funeral service
(Source: nastyshitwhitepeopleeat)
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sext:
fist me like u tryna get the last couple pringles
wanna hear a good joke?
ur blog
me and my friends hanging out :)
the saddest part is that i was alone and my camera was on self timer when this was taken
im Sorry but you two cant get the marriage. the bible said Adam and Eve not matthew and ashley. come back when youve legally changed your names
i can’t even choose a favorite one omfg
aaaw i was going through them and laughing and then i saw the last one.
